Life.

{Life has gotten the best of me. Life is the best of me.}

Every day something happens, some little snippet of life that is so precious I pray I'll never forget. But I do. The best case scenario is that I'll be reminded at some point, but surely... I'll forget again. {i.e. while watching Project Runway tonight I was reminded that a year ago Emmett's big thing was to yell out "I'm dying! Dying!" in as flamboyant voice possible, as he learned from watching fashionable TV with me. } I want to hold onto these moments, the funny things the kids say, the sweet lunch date with my husband, the warm conversation with my mom. I've decided to just put it all here. So, rather than focusing so much on what I don't do... which comes oh so naturally... I think I'll focus on what I do. Or at least... what happens.

I was so hell bent on documenting the kids lives. When Elliette was born I became borderline obsessive about noting events in her baby book, updating blogs, archiving photo files. Along came Emmett and I tried to do everything I did for Elliette. Along came Esme and I wanted to do the same.

Alas, they are different people. I have hundreds of photographs of four year old Elliette, and probably about a dozen of four year old Emmett. Emmett was moving too fast, I couldn't capture him. At four years old, Elliette was my doe-eyed shadow. Watching, observing, marinating in our daily life. And I hear it come out now. "Children!" She'll call to her brother and sister. "How is your breakfast?"

Emmett age 4

Elliette age 4

We are trying to instill an anti-sassy button on our girls. Esmé needs a bit of a tune up as of late, and we realized.... she has no idea what the hell she's saying. I heard her reciting to herself in the back seat of the car "Me not say Okay! Okay! Okay! That is sassy. Me say Okay Mom."

I want to remember, forever!, the sweet simle on my son's face when he exits his kindergarten classroom and sees me waiting for him. A huge smile, so sincere, so full of joy. He waves and jaunts over to me, with a hug and kiss. I remember last year, Elliette, exiting that same room... every day I'd hear a "Mama!" and she'd hurry to me. Now in first grade she just kind of wanders over to me. Has that magic already expired? Will it really be so soon that I will have no more kisses goodbye? I know it will come soon. I'm just not ready yet.

Literati.

 {Not just to sound smart}


My recent obsession has been books. I have always enjoyed reading from a youngster, and recently my thirst for bound paper has been unquenchable.

You see, I used to use books as another obscure way to define myself. So I kept my reading material on the up & up. It was an attempt at relating a high brow sensibility. People might see my selection of e. e. cummings and think "wow, this girl must be very intelligent and interesting to read this wacky poetry".

the tortured beauty inside....

I do still read this collection yearly.

My short attention span led to me dive into the work of short stories and essay. Again, I felt this made me somehow supreme - my capability as grasping information or a story line in a quarter of the time compared to a novel must keep me wry!
I do still love story fiction and non-fiction both, but I have recently rediscovered my love for the novel. Even novels off the best seller list! Gasp! It required a level of commitment, and to become immersed in a story, in these characters, their pains, joys,  triumphs, is so captivating I cannot seem to stop reading any one book once the front cover cracks open.

I consider it my duty as a lover of writing, reading, and America to read this every year.

I feel it's also a sign of maturity that I am able to say "Yes I actually like The Hunger Games quite a lot!" and not feel I'm somehow above that. I have finally humbled myself and it feels like I have been released from my own leash of intellect - or really to be truthful my fool-hearted cloak of appearing intellectual. I don't think I ever fully got that other stuff.

Last night I finished The Sisters Brothers by Patrick de Witt. It is a western which I would have shied away from had a trusted friend not recommended it. The protagonist is a melancholy type, and I am a sucker.

It's only onward from here, friends. 

Capture.

{weekly check-in}

Well, I went ahead and scrapped one of those daily photo lists. It was all about fitness. You may have noticed that there are no fitness related goings-ons around here. Not by me anyway. But that's for another day.

All of my hobbies are project driven, I've noticed. I like having the idea, making it happen, and seeing completion. Things like throwing a party, making a wreath, baking a pie... They give me that satisfaction of something being finished. Maybe it's my short attention span. So these photo challenges are really right up my alley. It's short-sighted, I can spend a few minutes on it and see a result. I also really enjoy communicating through pictures. More a feeling than a story. I must say, I'm a hard sell on photography. I don't really fall for much. A dear old friend of mine takes pictures I always seem to fall for, however. You should pay him a visit: Chris Bowden

Anyway back to me. Here are some of the Instagram images from the past few days:

They are pretty good, although I have a hard time keeping the images really straight. And if I import an image into Instagram from my photo album it ends up being off center, such as the "Doce." shot. I'll figure it all out. It's a big change holding an iPhone to take a photo, coming from a 35 year old Canon.

Happy Birthday Bluebird.

Goodnight Moon.

Ping Pong.

Doce.

Hobby.

{Just lookin for a way to express myself.}


I have been gone awhile. I've been putzing about, hanging around. I have a home to clean and have fun with.

I have recently found a fun hobby though. Instagram.

Back in the day (you know.... The Day...) I loved photography. I had my dad's 35mm Canon and would hit the town and take a lot of pictures.

Well fast forward 15 years and now my phone takes a better photo than I can with a camera. This is largely because my children dart about so quickly I could never focus quickly enough. (how did my Dad get any pictures of me?)

Here are some favorite photos.

If you are on Instagram please join me... @BlueSaylorRose