Enjoying the things I don't actually do.

13 September 2012


{Life has gotten the best of me. Life is the best of me.}

Every day something happens, some little snippet of life that is so precious I pray I'll never forget. But I do. The best case scenario is that I'll be reminded at some point, but surely... I'll forget again. {i.e. while watching Project Runway tonight I was reminded that a year ago Emmett's big thing was to yell out "I'm dying! Dying!" in as flamboyant voice possible, as he learned from watching fashionable TV with me. } I want to hold onto these moments, the funny things the kids say, the sweet lunch date with my husband, the warm conversation with my mom. I've decided to just put it all here. So, rather than focusing so much on what I don't do... which comes oh so naturally... I think I'll focus on what I do. Or at least... what happens.

I was so hell bent on documenting the kids lives. When Elliette was born I became borderline obsessive about noting events in her baby book, updating blogs, archiving photo files. Along came Emmett and I tried to do everything I did for Elliette. Along came Esme and I wanted to do the same.

Alas, they are different people. I have hundreds of photographs of four year old Elliette, and probably about a dozen of four year old Emmett. Emmett was moving too fast, I couldn't capture him. At four years old, Elliette was my doe-eyed shadow. Watching, observing, marinating in our daily life. And I hear it come out now. "Children!" She'll call to her brother and sister. "How is your breakfast?"
Emmett age 4

Elliette age 4

We are trying to instill an anti-sassy button on our girls. Esmé needs a bit of a tune up as of late, and we realized.... she has no idea what the hell she's saying. I heard her reciting to herself in the back seat of the car "Me not say Okay! Okay! Okay! That is sassy. Me say Okay Mom."

I want to remember, forever!, the sweet simle on my son's face when he exits his kindergarten classroom and sees me waiting for him. A huge smile, so sincere, so full of joy. He waves and jaunts over to me, with a hug and kiss. I remember last year, Elliette, exiting that same room... every day I'd hear a "Mama!" and she'd hurry to me. Now in first grade she just kind of wanders over to me. Has that magic already expired? Will it really be so soon that I will have no more kisses goodbye? I know it will come soon. I'm just not ready yet.

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